We can help

Sometimes, first impressions don’t go as smoothly as expected, and you might find yourself feeling like it's you against the world. Lots of people find themselves in this situation and there are steps you can take to make things better. Here’s some advice to help you navigate this challenging situation.

Remember: It’s normal to feel this way at the start

First and foremost, it’s important to recognise that it’s completely normal to feel a bit out of place when you first move into your uni accommodation. Everyone is adjusting to a new environment, and it can take time to find your footing. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re feeling out of sync with your flatmates at first.

Reach out and get involved

One of the best ways to feel more connected is to reach out and get involved with your flatmates and others around you. Here are a few tips:

• Join in on flat activities: If your flatmates are planning a movie night, cooking dinner together, or going out, try to join in. Even if it feels a bit awkward at first, participating in shared activities can help you bond with them. Sometimes all you have to do is make the first move and then suddenly you're invited to everything.
• Suggest your own activities: Don’t be afraid to take the lead and plan something for everyone. Whether it’s a night out, a game night, or a trip in to Nottingham centre, taking the initiative can help break the ice and show that you’re keen to get to know them better. You could always get involved with ResX events which we hold weekly and are designed for socialising with other students!
• Explore external social opportunities: Join clubs, societies, or sports teams that interest you. This not only helps you meet like-minded people but also gives you a chance to connect with others outside your flat. You might form friendships that ease the feeling of being the odd one out in your flat.

Open up about how you’re feeling

If you feel comfortable, it might help to have an open and honest conversation with one of your flatmates about how you’re feeling. Sometimes, others may not realise that you’re feeling left out or picked on, and a simple chat can make a big difference. Here’s how you might approach it:

• Be gentle, but honest: You could say something like, “I’ve been feeling a bit out of the loop lately, and I’d really like to get to know everyone better. Do you fancy hanging out sometime?” or, "I didn't feel great about how things went the other day and really like us to be better friends. How do you feel?"
• Focus on the positive: Positively frame your feelings, expressing your desire to be more a part of the group rather than focusing on any negative feelings can help make the conversation easier.

Know when to seek help

If you’re feeling picked on or that the situation in your flat is more serious, it’s important to recognise that you don’t have to deal with it on your own. Here’s what we can do:

• Reach out to Res X: If you’re feeling anxious, stressed, or down about your living situation, it might help to talk to us at Res X. They can provide counselling and support to help you manage your feelings and work through the situation. You can contact the Social Responsibility team on 0115 749 7600, resx@nottingham.ac.uk.
• Consider your options: If things don’t improve and you’re really unhappy in your flat, it might be worth exploring the possibility of moving to a different flat or accommodation. Speak to the accommodation office or your Welcome Point about your options.

Feeling like the odd one out in your flat can be tough, but remember that it’s a common experience, and it doesn’t mean that something’s wrong with you or the people you're living with. By reaching out, getting involved, and seeking support when needed, you can work towards feeling more comfortable and connected at uni.